I'll put it to you this way:

Years ago, when I came out to my mother, she freaked out. She cried and cried and cried, and became very combative with me if I attempted to explain things to her. Eventually, as I realized that she was going to throw a fit every time I tried to mention anything about my sexuality, I stopped talking about it to her. But that was MY mistake. I should have stayed the course and stood my ground, b/cuz it only contributed to a huge gap in our relationship for several years. I told myself that she was the one who didn't want to know about it, when in fact, the truth was that I was the one who didn't want to talk about it or deal with it. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy that she would have problems with me, b/cuz in my avoidance and my silence, I made it seem like my life was something to be ashamed of or looked down upon.

I think it's a good example to bring up in this situation. The thing about straight people is that you have to train them. It's unfortunate, but that's the way it is. You have to show up at their events and act like you belong to be there just as much as anyone else, and you have to put yourself out there and just have fun. This past weekend, I was the ONLY gay person in attendance, and I had a fucking BLAST. They loved me. And I know that my presence and my ability to be "one of the guys" helped them to see beyond my sexuality.

You can sit around and say that YNOT is clique-ish, but honestly, the problem with gay people is that we are just as clique-ish. We get an idea in our heads that straight people don't want us around, so we just go off into our own little corner and only talk to each other or talk to the straight people that we're comfortable with. It's so easy for us to play the victim in every scenario, whether it be that we're not wanted at predominantly straight events or that Hollywood is out to get us by making allegedly non-flattering movies like Brokeback Mountain.

I think it would be cool, though, if more gay people moved out of their comfort zones and made the effort to reach out to those who, while they might not outwardly act as if they want us around, are still very much open to it.

By the way, YNOT Bob didn't put me up to this. He has no idea I'm even posting this. I'm not here to be a publicist for anyone. I only advocate the causes and events that I think are worthwhile, and YP is definitely one of them, based on my AWESOME experience this past weekend.