No matter how well you contectualize the content, you will have people adamantly refusing to promote your content.

My BDSM site was distinctly funny, very tounge in cheek - with happy smiling girls clearly enjoying thier degradation. Kink.com, whom we shared models with, also added this later.

However - even though some people won't promote you - I would encourage you to go for it. Well done gay BDSM is nearly non-existant on the web - the field is wide open, and if I weren't so busy doing MuscleHunks I would be going full bore into that market.

There are really SPECIFIC things you should and should NOT do if you are doing fetish / violence. First, always make a context - with text and photos clearly showing happy, consensual people before and after. Do not mix penetration with violence or bondage (that's rape - even though some of us seriously enjoy it), pepper your site with "Safe, Sane, Consensual" messages throughout.... and use humour wherever you can, just to keep it a bit lighter.

Then, when you have folks refusing to sponsor / promote you - you can invite them to investigate it more thoroughly.

Finally - get a webmaster who knows and understands and loves BDSM and Fetish, because if your webmastering team isnt into the content, well - most likely the site will be of the same old stereotypes of BDSM that people on both sides of the fence find so objectionable!