I am about 5 years out of the fetish world now, so my information is out of date.... BUT, at the time we were doing it, you could NOT show bondage and penetration in the same shot. It was legally considered, according to our attorney's at the time... rape. Even if we had the girl yelling "please tie me up and slip me a big one".
So, we showed bondage, we showed penetration, we ordered them to indicate penetration and bondage were being performed at the same time, but we never showed the girl tied and penetrated at the same time. We started in the wild west days, and we were ultra paranoid.
As to telling them it is a fantasy... well, this kind of depends on your actors / models, and thier experience level. If the scene is ultra hot and it is clear that everyone is seriously getting off on it, it kind of doesnt matter what you say about it... great hot content will speak for itself!
Now, the world has changed a LOT in the last few years, and Kink.com has certainly blown the envelope out of the water (I love mixing my metaphors) ... but, with BDSM material, you really need to be careful in order to stay within the letter of the law, if staying within the letter of the law is important to you. That being said, I dont think anyone has been prosecuted on this in the US, and in Canada SweetErotica WAS charged on obscenity for this kind of material, but they prevailed.
Talk with an attorney who is up to the latest on this stuff, and determine how much risk you are willing to take in the event that the guvment ever does start prosectuting again - after all, it is election season, and the reichwing needs to start playing to thier base again soon.





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