Thanks everyone for the kind words, its nice to see that not all gay men cheer at others misfortunes (i've run into that a lot around here). Sorry if any of you that posted aren't gay, i'm not assuming just haven't gotten to know everyone really well yet. Anyway, luckily we sat down today and talked things through and we are going to try to work it out. We are just both the type that dosn't back down, so a small fight always escalates into something big. I HAVE to learn how to diffuse situations like this and take a deep breath and calm down. I was seriously almost foaming at the mouth, and I tore off his car's sun visor and rear view mirror while he was driving. Talk about psycho; i'm really thinking about getting a mental evaluation and some pills. I woulda kicked me outta the car too. The true worst part is it was all over $20 fucking bucks. We need to get some financial security soon so that we can have some kind of peace of mind and less stress. I have 20/40 vision and no glasses and my "disposable" contacts are 4 years old so it kills me to wear them (the great once in a while that I dare to). It's one of those chicken/egg horrid situations, I need glasses to get a job, I need a job to get glasses. The stress is too much, and i'm starting to lose touch with reality (everything is flat and surreal, I can see shape and color but no detail at all) and i'm starting to look like a vulture from bending forward to squint at everything. Plus I seem to squint more with my right eye so it's making me look like my eyes are two different sizes! I used to get hit on constantly, now I feel like quazi moto, and if thats not scaring people off, my obvious insecurities are. Anyway, enough so-sad-for-me babbling, but it feels good to get some of it out, even in type. How do ya like my run-on sentences people? I'm about to release an all gay monthly internet magazine, my volunteer editor is gonna have a hayday!