You all should know better than to take things personally from a posting on a message board. The written word can in no way convey the exact meaning that a spoken word can, and can often lead to miscommunication.

I have known Hammer online for some time now and was able to meet him in person at Cybernet and I can vouch for him that he totally does not come off as homophobic in any way. And since he does a radio show with a gay man I would hardly think of him as meaning to offend people on this board (besides, if he did, I don't think TonyD would let him forget that).

Hammer, you do have to remember that gay people have negativity streaming at us from all sides, even in these enlightened days, where our very President is trying to change the Constitution in order to take away our rights, people are getting into heated legal battles over a very basic civil right that is being denied to us, and reality TV shows are being made that belittle not only our lives but some of the very issues that are so serious to gay people that it has driven many into therapy and even suicide. So it is understandable when people take things personally. I could tell that you were stating that you are happy being you, and that you have a lot of things going for you as a straight man. Once again, the meaning of the written word gets interpreted in different ways, often totally different than the intention.

One more thing to keep in mind here. Everyone has been making very strong points, both gay and straight. Both pleasant and unpleasant issues have been talked about and we all had an excellent opportunity to learn from one another. I urge you all to take a little time and reread this thread, but take your own emotions and assumptions out of the picture and look at the meaing of each post objectively. We all have many things to learn from each other. If we all had the same points of view, we would all be the same person, and how boring would that be? And the benefit of seeing someone else's point of view on a subject is this... They say the grass is greener on the other side, so look at your own as others see it and you may see a totally different place.

Oh, and one last little thing. "Vanilla", in the bdsm community, simply means that you are not kinky. I cannot vouch for Mr. Hammer's level of kinkocity, for I do not know him well enough. Hee hee. Have a good weekend everyone.