Would you have sex with a guy who told you he was HIV Positive?

Dzinerbear · 02-04-2008, 12:30 PM

I wonder how many of the no's have already had sex with an HIV-positive person. If you're not asking all of your sexual partners every single time you've had sex, there's a good chance you've already had many HIV-positive cocks down your throats and up your asses.

Michael

**cbl_chaz** · 02-04-2008, 01:04 PM

I voted yes. It's the only way I COULD vote as I have had three lovers who were HIV Positive. I have buried two of them. My first experience with a pos partner was scary as he was diagnosed AFTER we had been dating for about eight months. I drove myself to the brink of insanity waiting for MY test results to come back. I went through so many emotions that I really thought I was gonna loose it (this was a lot for a 19 year old in 1989!) It was my grandmother, the wisest woman on the face of this planet to me, that put it into perspective for me. She asked me if i could date someone with cancer or leukemia or Parkinson's Disease. I replied yes, if I had feelings for them, their ailment or disease would not effect my decision to be with them. She looked at me and said, "Well then young man, you just solved your life-debilitating problem. Love the person. Take the necessary steps to ensure your safety AND HIS and continue to love him for as long as the God and Goddess keep in him in your life." I did just that.....all three times I have encountered HIV. Would I do it again? ABSOLUTELY. I have fond memories of three of the greatest men to ever cross my life and AIDS or no AIDS I wouldn't give them up for all the negative men in the world. I've had HIV negative lovers as well and loved them just the same. It's called safe sex and it works if you are responsible and stay alert to things like breaking condoms and the "surprise" accidental facial shot. Play safe Period!

**Mansized** · 02-04-2008, 03:26 PM

Originally Posted by Matt 26z

I said no, and I must wonder how many of those who voted yes are already HIV+, or maybe they are total tops. But a - bottom willing to take it from a + top? Anyone answer yes with that in mind?

To me anyone who is - that knowingly has sex with a + is just asking for trouble. I don't care if condoms are being used, it will break eventually. Plus there have been cases of it being passed orally, so this "saliva kills HIV" argument that you hear sometimes is just stupid.

While I am sure that guys with HIV feel ostracized in a lot of situations, I am not willing to put their hurt feelings ahead of my own body.

What do you then suggest hiv+ men do for sex..both tops and bottoms?
Have sex only with other hiv+ men? But even there, if the condom breaks (I thought we had learned that condoms are really very difficult to break in most cases, but I guess the constant fear of what IF still scares a lot of people) you risk the virus mutating.

Not asking you to feel guilty or bad, just put yourself in the place of an hiv+ man as myself, and you start feeling like a leper! It's almost like you should give up sex for the rest of your life. That is how sad it is these days to be hiv+!

So, in general, is this the stance of the gay community? Hiv- people should avoid sex with hiv+ people if possible?

**jIgG** · 02-04-2008, 10:20 PM

no, even with condom.
one broken condom and it all goes to shit.
and nobody's worth fucking up my health for.especially over a one night stand

all were/are HIV- since like except maybe 2-3 l barely knew, the rest being friends or close acquaintances and we've known each other for a while.

ultimately everyone makes their choice, they just shouldn't expect a pithy party if something goes wrong and/or start blaming the other guy for infecting them if the rubber snaps

**chadknowslaw** · 02-04-2008, 10:53 PM

I knew an HIV positive guy who was charged with the crime of having sex with someone without telling them he was HIV positive, a crime equal to attempted murder in Iowa (25 years, no possibility of parole for 21.5 years). Ultimately it was plead out to a less serious offense and he was placed on 5 years probation.

I saw his ad on Manhunt. He claims to be HIV negative now, so unless some miracle happened he is still lying about his status and actively seeking out new partners. I am sure he is not the only one playing that game~

Xstr8guy · 02-05-2008, 03:04 AM

Patti, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings at all. I probably could have used a more careful word other than "discriminate". However, I am still surprised by the number of "No" votes because I see it from a different angle. In my experience, it's nearly impossible to meet men of my age who are negative whether they are friends or lovers. It's just my reality.

My partner has lived in Dallas before and moved away about 15 years ago before returning in 2000. He had dozens of friends that he left behind and none of them are alive now. That's my reality.

**DEVELISH** · 02-05-2008, 10:36 AM

Originally Posted by chadknowslaw

I knew an HIV positive guy who was charged with the crime of having sex with someone without telling them he was HIV positive, a crime equal to attempted murder in Iowa (25 years, no possibility of parole for 21.5 years).

Here in germany spreading hiv is considered as "assault" or "bodily injury caused by negligence". Willingly spreading of hiv is "aggravated battery" or "bodily injury caused by negligence" :bananacock:

desslock · 02-05-2008, 12:45 PM

Last weekend I was at the bar, where I met my friend SpreadEagle73. We were discussing some people from online, and he referred to one or two of them as HIV-phobic.

An interesting term.

Just do whatever you are comfortable with.

Steve

WegCash Robert · 02-05-2008, 01:46 PM

I have had lovers who were positive. You just need to be careful. There are so many people out there that don't know or will not tell you anyways. It's only best for yourself to use protection. The thing that scares me is also getting hepatitis and other std's also. It's just dirty out there! I think that guys that have husbands or long term boyfriends that are both tested are so lucky. It's hard being a single gay man now days. I love it and would never change it but there are lots of std's floating around!

MrYellow · 02-05-2008, 05:29 PM

34% ARE YOU CRAZY!!!!!!!

-Ben

**BoyDollars** · 02-05-2008, 05:57 PM

I voted NO!

I wouldn't be able to have sex with anyone that was HIV +. Just for the simple reason that i would constantly think about "this guy has HIV". Now I probably would be able to jerk off with someone with HIV. But nothing more than that.

I have and had plenty of friends that are HIV + and have died of Aids. I think people need a lot more education on the disease. Its unfortunate that people are so afraid of a disease thats not so easy to get.

The bottom line is:
1. use your brain
2. wear protection
3. know who your playing with
4. play safe

The one thing that freaks me out are these people called "bug chasers and gift givers"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bugchasing_and_giftgiving

Now if that isn't totally wrong.... I don't know what is!

David

desslock · 02-05-2008, 07:40 PM

I searched, I searched I searched my whole life.
To find, find, find the secret.
But all I did was open up my eyes.
Maybe we can do it.

-Steve

**chadknowslaw** · 02-05-2008, 09:27 PM

If this is a counselor ship, where is the ambassador?
(from desslock's sig)

She is hiding in a smokey hallway talking to a droid. And she has a blaster.

**Mansized** · 02-05-2008, 11:36 PM

Interesting thread. I noticed no one has yet answered my question (especially those who say they would never have sex with an hiv poz person) as to who hiv poz people should have sex with then.

Even more interesting is this quote from a recent post:

"I wouldn't be able to have sex with anyone that was HIV +."
"Its unfortunate that people are so afraid of a disease thats not so easy to get."

Both those statements came from the same person.

Are we, who are hiv+ supposed to become celibate for the rest of our lives?
Or, should we just have sex with other hiv poz guys? Knowing that "re-infection" can take place.

In all seriousness..those who say they cannot have sex with someone who is hiv+ care to tell me their opinion on what hiv poz people are supposed to do for sex?