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I'm not gay; I'm British!
How to Be a Smart-Assed Masochist!
Some faves:
Decorate your dom/me's leathers with oil painted neon polka dots and stripes
Place a whoopee cushion on your dom/me's favorite chair.
When getting flogged, start singing 'This is the song that never ends...'
Have a wig made up matching your hair color and style perfectly. It'll be worth the expense to see the look on your dom/me's face the next time your hair gets tugged and it comes off..
Attach clappers to all the outlets in the dungeon just before a paddling. (Clap on, clap off...)
Put up flyers around town, advertising that master is missing, answers to Pookie, reward for his safe return.
http://members.aol.com/alkallah/samhints.html
Now, this was on a straight ref, however, it can apply to gay masters-slaves, and is worth the laugh!
:p
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Life is a dick and when itīs get hard---just fuck it...
THAT WAS FUN TO READ 
I'd love to see a master's face after any of those lines
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On the other hand.... You have different fingers
These are my favorites:
Sing 'Happy Birthday To Me' and blow out the candle during wax play.
If your dom/me decides to do a verbal humiliation scene with you in public, stick your fingers in your ears and say 'Neener, neener, neener, I can't hear you!'
Hold up a scorecard after each blow delivered (like in figure skating or diving)
Go in the toybag and superglue the nipple clamps shut.
Don't do the household chores. Tell master you didn't have time to do them because you were out of Total and had to eat at least a dozen bowls of another brand, just to get the same nutritional value.
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