Because Proposition 8 and the Defense of Marriage Act are two different things. Proposition 8 says California won't recognize gay marriages, even those performed within the state. And since this thread is about Prop 8, the commerce statutes of the Constitution don't apply.
The Defense of Marriage Act, on the other hand, says that states do not have to recognize same-sex marriages performed within other states. It is a clear-cut violation for the reason you mentioned. However, gay and lesbian groups are scared to challenge it before the US Supreme Court with only a handful of states recognizing same-sex marriages. The court is currently leading on the moderately conservative side, and a defeat on that level would sit on the books for at least 10 years, probably more like 20.
The top gay legal groups (Lamda Legal, ACLU LGBT Rights Project, and the National Center for Lesbian Rights) all want to win in more states before they bring about any case that makes its way to the Supreme Court.
That's why they're so pissed about the Prop 8 lawsuit from Theodore Olsen. He's a guy who has argued in front of the US Supreme Court over 30 times and is highly respected even by his political opponents for his legal and oratory skills. He's the sort of guy who will proceed with an airtight case that leaves no wiggle room for silly challenges on minor issues. He may not win, but his case will be exactly the sort of expertly-done legal challenge that the Supreme Court likes to hear.
--Aaron





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