It’s Christmas Eve. There’s a light snow drifting down, and we’ll have a white Christmas.

Standing in the doorway, I watch the flakes as they dance and shimmer, casting a quiet peace upon the land. Even in the midst of several million people in a packed city, there’s a hush. My mind takes me back to my childhood, of standing at the huge picture window and watching the same type of snow drift down, spreading it’s soft glow over everything. It’s one of the most vivid memories I have. I can still see the flakes as they hit the glass, their patterns so clear, and watched as they would melt, and another flake come to take its place. No cars, no people, even the neighborhood dogs were quiet. I think it was the first time I had experienced such silence…. And such beauty.

I have an all Christmas music channel playing, and I just got off the phone with my mom. She’s upset that we won’t be down tomorrow, but even though two of my siblings actually said they’d pick us up, I don’t want to commit them to four hours of driving on what will be bad roads by morning.

It’s been a rough year. Well, three actually. And it’s hard to find any joy or hope, but I’m trying. I’ve been so disoriented for these past few years with pain and stress that I haven’t even had the notion to try to put pen to paper and be the least bit creative. Til now …because I became keenly aware of something as I drifted back in time to that moment in my childhood. I realized that …

Today is what I have. Today is where I am.
Today I woke up in a bed, in a house with heat.
I might not have that tomorrow, but that’s tomorrow, not today.
Today a woman who truly loves me held me close and said “I love you”.
Today I could talk to my mom.
She’s a cancer survivor, and I’m blessed with every day that I CAN still pick up the phone and hear her voice.
Today I still have my “kids”, and for the most part they’re fat and happy and healthy.
Today I could open the lovely cards from family and friends, and know they’re thinking of me.
Today I can say I truly have friends all around this small world.
Today I know that I am truly loved by many.
Today I received many gifts that money will never be able to buy.

Tomorrow there will be no tree.
Tomorrow there will be no store bought gifts to give.
But tomorrow …
I will again open the gifts I received today.
It will be a blessed day indeed.