"Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial-aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money."
Haha i can imagine that one being used on a couple of people we know machnes

Regards,

Lee