Sounds good about "Really needing to outgrow the drama and pettiness and get your shit together"

And, you will...first know exactly what you want, be very clear about it...then go for it! (I believe you do and are)

I also agree with Bec...and you sure as hell don't need that

It sounds like you really care about yourself, so start showing yourself that.

I don't know you, but, any counselor or therapist would tell you it's crazy to except someone that doesn't want the same things as you and who would trash all of your stuff.

Guys that want monogamy and commitment DO exist out there!
All of my partners and mine gay friends are in long term monogamist relationships...many couples

Things WILL get better....this is also a cyclical time of year that seems to be affecting many people negatively right now....it will pass