Okay here is my 2 cents on this.

To begin with I am marrying my partner on the 21st of January 2005. After 8 years of being together we are having a ceremony and making it all legal.

For me, it isn't about being some bright beacon for the world to say 'see he did and we are still alive' but for me to protect my lover.

I am older, much actually by 23 years and at least I will know that someone who loves me will make the important decisions for me when the time comes.

It also means that he will not be left out in the cold either. That what I have will pass to him without question.

Now excuse me for boring everyone but we are going thru this whole process and its interesing really how it changes things. Not stuff you'd maybe ever miss or even give a seconds glance at but from the first decision to actually do this, dave and I have gotten even closer than we were before.

There is more sparkle too, I mean its odd and even strange but we feel more comfortable with each other. In some ways it has even made Dave take more responsibility in our relationship than before, as it seems to be more real to him now than before though how I couldn't even begin to say.

We both have made it known to our families and friends and it is odd how they haven't reacted. For example I had always assumed my mother knew I was gay, and yet she hadn't. She is having a ball though as we joke about her having to explain the facts of life to her knew 'son in law' or 'the bride' as she calls him. It is also neat how at 87 she is excited by the whole wedding idea and how she even feels better for it, knowing now that I will have someone in my old age...

So is it worth it? I think Dzinbear that if you love each other you are already married, but the ceremony, the actual piece of paper is something that just, well makes it complete.

Funny, we asked our local rabbi if he'd do the service, he said he would if he could but as Dave isn't Jewish, he couldn't. I mean here I was worrying about the gay thing and it isn't that which put up a roadblock, but the religios thing. No problem though as he found us another rabbi so yes it will be not just civil but religious too and you know, it is neat to hear some of the words because they take on a whole new meaning.

Nothing has changed and yet everything has changed. I really can't explain it, but going thru this whole preparation is an experience I am glad we are taking. Not for others, but for us. So my long winded advice is simply this, if you want to do it, do it but do it because of your love for each other and not for some symbol. You'll enjoy it a whole lot more I think.

hth
Ian