I've got to echo what Basschick has to say.
Your tour is in a bit of a shambles. There are deadlinks everywhere.
You've got a lot of "red x's" instead of the jpegs showing up.
And, frankly, imho, your giving away TOO much in free previews! How many of those jpegs do you have for people to look at for free anyhow? I'd cut back on that a bit.

But most of all, you need to get a designer in and redo the entire site and give it a professional look. This type of look was "in" in 2000. But then..that's the way MOST sites looked like in 2000. If I had just stumbled onto your site today searching for black men, I wouldn't join. Why? Because it looks very rinky dink in it's setup. I wouldn't trust the site with my money because of how it looks from the "outside". Sorry if that sounds too harsh..but most surfers these days DO judge a book by it's cover. Get a re-design done ASAP and re-adjust your content in the preview area a bit and I'm sure you'll see SOME improvement in signups.

As far as traffic..welcome to 2005!! Been doing this since 1996, and frankly, we ALL have a lot of competition that didn't exist then..and it's just going to get more competitive. So yeah, you're going to have to figure out how to market that site, buy traffic, banner exchanges, whatever it takes if you are really serious about making the site the success you want it to be.

Best of luck in whatever you decide to do.