Hi Caliente4sex:

You may not have meant it, but you characterize this individual as essentially throwing down the gauntlet with a "that or me" ultimatum.

My ex (a hispanic) used to do this to me often. Over time, I realized that this was a manifestation of his own insecurities; the only way for him to perceive my love and devotion was for me to literally forego the things that I truly enjoyed.

For example, let's say I loved eating cookies. Well so he'd surmise that if really I loved him, then I should be able to give up eating cookies.

Or how about the old chestnut: If you stopped spending time that one friend of yours who I dispise, then I know you really care about me.

Now this nine year relationship of mine lasted in part because I learned to essentially ignore these ultimatum requests. This often wasn't easy, but what I was essentially doing was trumping his play. This turned his ultimatum on its head - basically now it was he who had to choose whether to stay with the cookie-eating Desslock, or leave. Obviously I was not going to give up eating cookies.

Don't be manipulated.

And an interesting note - if their insecurity level is high, then they probably will end up sticking with you anyway. This is just my own experience. Your mileage may vary.

Steve