Greetings:

Urgh, I hate giving relationship advice, but seem to be called on to do so often by my friends. So, what the hey.

My partner moved in with me when I was 19, and he had just turned 20. Now, here we are, over 6 and half years later, still living together as a happy, healthy couple.

No matter how much 2 people love each other, building and maintaining a relationship takes work. People are too quick to just give up and move on, and I think you're hearing this from the advice that some in this forum have given you.

Personally, I think that they're ALL missing the point. Yes, your boyfriend knew what you did when you first met, and now 10 months later he wants you to stop. Put yourself in his shoes, and ask yourself, why?

Is he being manipulative, controlling, etc. etc.? I honestly don't think so, although it may appear that way at first. Here's my guess at what's happening:

You two probably need to work on developing the base trust of your relationship. Sure, your boyfriend didn't care what you did at first, because honestly, he didn't care as much about YOU at first. That's normal enough for any relationship. Now, here he is 10 months later, probably feeling more and more serious about you, and wondering what the "long term" looks like.

In short, he's afraid of losing you. Which, in turn, can only mean that he sincerely cares for you.

Why then, people want you to throw that away, is above and beyond me.

You need to spend some time talking openly to him. How DO you really feel for him? Do you really see yourself with him in the long term? If so, he needs to know that.

Trust isn't something that develops magically between two people, and certainly isn't something that happens overnight. Trust is earned over time, and you need to let him know that it's something you want to earn from him.

Now, if you're some piece of shit that fully intends to cheat on him left and right and treat him like crap, then please, leave the poor guy now before you scar him for life. However, if your intentions are good, and you really care for this man, invest the time necessary.

Let him know you understand why he might be feeling the way that he feels, and to give you a chance to show him that he doesn't need to feel unstable. Let him know the work you do in no way effects your commitment to, or feelings towards, him. Let him know that he is your priority, and that you'll never allow your work to change that.

Who knows, investing time now could very well be an investment that could last you a lifetime.....