First off -- big hug ...

I've been there -- debugging the house -- hurts like hell. But at the time, it was what I felt was necessary. Chances are Don, the DO know, but are of the "don't ask, don't tell" mentality. I know your pain of doing something really great, and can't share that with them... because they "don't want to know". What I will say though, is if they do ask ... tell them the truth. If they ask, they know, and opening the door... just speak softly, and don't overwhelm em with too much info too fast. Knowledge verified may still not mean acceptance.

I know that for me, now, I do regret not talking to my father about my life style before he passed on. But hindsight is always 20/20. It was a choice I made, and at the time, it was the right one for me.

Perhaps this would be less hurtful if they stayed at a motel? Or are you entertaining from the home base? Their first visit?

I agree here about community attitude- screw that- this is YOUR life, and you're the one sitting in the best spot to make those kinds of decissions. So long as you're willing to live with your choices ... then you made the right ones.