Can str8 and gay men really be only friends?

[Mamakity]

My husband Donnie has a couple friends that are gay and it's never been an issue. Sure, they think he's HOT. And he is but that doesn't mean they are going to jump his bones or bone, hehehe.

Donnie is 100% secure with his identity and it sounds to me that your friend is not. There is probably some underlying issue there but I won't speculate.

You must feel a little bad that you were being honest with this kid and he totally pulled away from you and for that I'm sorry. But your better off without such a headcase.

[DonMike]

Ben, I know it is hard to pass up what could have been a good friendship, but Mamakitty is right. You don't need the headache. The guy's obviously got baggage and a whole bunch of issues. The only thing you can do is be nice to him and give him his space. He probably thinks you are a certain way because you are gay and if you get defensive about this, you will just be prepetuating whatever negative stereotype is making him so defensive. The best thing you can do is say, "I'm sorry you feel this way. You will pass up the chance to make a lot of good friends in your life by feeling this way. It was nice knowing you." If he really thinks about your friendship and feels he does not want to lose it then he will come back. If not, then you didn't really lose anything real.

I think at this point he wants you to fight with him so he can feel justified in his actions. He's just letting his fear dictate his choices. He will learn a much more valuable lesson if you just say goodbye. It will make him deal with his feelings rather than being able to blame them on you.

[basschick]

squirt - most of the lesbians i know who befriended str8 men usually got hit on eventually, sometimes quite forcefully.

[Mamakity]

squirt - most of the lesbians i know who befriended str8 men usually got hit on eventually, sometimes quite forcefully.

Damn it, I went about high school all wrong.

Me saying I was lesbian would have probably worked since the kids I hung with were either gay/lesbian or weird. Had I only known I might have had some dates. Oh well, better luck next life.

[basschick]

i've known several men who pretend to be gay to get girls, but the guys who want to "turn" lesbians are usually only talking sex, not dates.

Damn it, I went about high school all wrong.

Me saying I was lesbian would have probably worked since the kids I hung with were either gay/lesbian or weird. Had I only known I might have had some dates. Oh well, better luck next life.

[Squirt]

i've known several men who pretend to be gay to get girls, but the guys who want to "turn" lesbians are usually only talking sex, not dates.

How odd! Men will do anything to get laid! :sneak:

[Gary-Alan]

My husband Donnie has a couple friends that are gay and it's never been an issue. Sure, they think he's HOT. And he is but that doesn't mean they are going to jump his bones or bone, hehehe.

Donnie is 100% secure with his identity and it sounds to me that your friend is not. There is probably some underlying issue there but I won't speculate.

You must feel a little bad that you were being honest with this kid and he totally pulled away from you and for that I'm sorry. But your better off without such a headcase.

And that's one of the things I really love about Donnie. He's totally secure and can hang out and play without worry. But I did get kinda excited when I MISREAD your post the first time about underlying issues - you know I would have help Donnie with them. LOL SMOOCH!


But seriously Ben, I have to agree with most here. It's sad that things went the way they did, sometimes it's better you find out now. The issues here are not yours. They belong to him. You had your honesty shoved back at you and that's not good for you.

One of my oldest and dearest friends, Bill, is str8. We've known each other since freshmen year at prep school. He was the second person I came out to. I was secure in the friendship, but I did worry. I think I did insult him when I came out, then said "It's doesn't mean I want to fuck you". It never crossed his mind. He was more concerned for me since I was so emotional.

So to answer your question... Yes, we can all be friends.

[Lee]

"It's doesn't mean I want to fuck you".

Now theres a thought hahahaha

I still want to get that model release signed by Bill :devil:

Regards,

Lee

[Mamakity]

And that's one of the things I really love about Donnie. He's totally secure and can hang out and play without worry. But I did get kinda excited when I MISREAD your post the first time about underlying issues - you know I would have help Donnie with them. LOL SMOOCH!

LOL. Gary I love you.

[Gary-Alan]

LOL. Gary I love you.

I love you right back, Mama!




Good points, boyfunk!

[CuriousToyBoy]

I am friends with a great many of you - and with several I consider myself bloody good friends.

Outside of the web world I have heaps of friends who's sexuality is different to mine.

Not to mention I work with CuriousTim, who is as camp as a row of tents, and I deal with gay guys as part of business all the time.

A quite a few of both of the above groups have made passes at me, which is quite flattering an does not perturb me in the least.

For those of you who know, many of YOU have heard my tired old line, "If you got a great boob job and lost the tackle we could have a wonderful life together", so I suppose I have hit you with a variation of a pickup line myself !

The answer, can we be friends, is an unequivocal and resounding "YES" and everyday we prove it to be true.

I have absolutely NO issue with my sexuality or that of others, never have, never will. I do NOT have 2 sets of rules for friends, or even in relationships for that matter. I do NOT have hang ups nor I am biased or discriminatory in any way.

I treat people as they treat me, not based on any silly factor like race, color, creed, sex or sexuality.

But then I AM different to the majority of straight blokes though, which, I think, and then only in SOME ways, is a damn shame.

He he

[Ben]

Thank you all for great answers! I was thinking along the same lines as most of you. The boy has some unresolved issues, and projected his fears into our friendly relationship. He hasn't contacted me for two days, and I think I'll listen to Mamakitty's and Don's advice.

The way he's been treating me since i told him about my sexual orientation was... demeaning in many ways. I don't like to put up with constant questioning, e.g. when I ask him to go to the movies he thinks there's some hidden sexual motive behind it. I'm definitely no angel, but hey I'm not THAT superficial & tactless.

He also resorted to intentional lies and sly, deceitful questionings in order extract some "truth" about my real intentions, but I can't get into that now. Suffice to say it left a very bad taste in my mouth (no pun intended ).

And certainly, it's good to know there are straight men who don't mind being flattered by gay guys! (Ozmalegalleries and Curioustoyboy). Sadly, most straight men are not like you and after this experience I don't believe I'll come out as easy as I have. IMO the rift between straight and gay men still remains huge, and it's the straight guys that need their egos and pride checked more than the gay ones.

[CuriousToyBoy]

IMO the rift between straight and gay men still remains huge, and it's the straight guys that need their egos and pride checked more than the gay ones.

The world would be a MUCH better place if you were not so damned right !