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Thread: Interesting Question... Gay Homophobes?

  1. #1
    You do realize by 'gay' I mean a man who has sex with other men?
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    Interesting Question... Gay Homophobes?

    Was speaking to someone on icq a few minutes ago and the subject of homophobia came up... no biggie its been dscused before but, this time i was kind of taken back because it wasnt homophobia from straight people but actually from other gay people that as being discussed.

    So my thoughts on this were first of all, does homophobia exist within the gay community itself and, if so, how does this type of homophobia differ (if at all) from homophobia from the straight crowd?

    I have to admit that this is the first instance i have ever heard of this so it did kind of catch me by surprise, anyone else ever hear of this before?

    Regards,

    Lee


  2. #2
    chick with a bass basschick's Avatar
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    i've known this guy ric for years and years. he is gay, and participates in things like marches and goes to pride. but he also uses the word "gay" to put things down. he also doesn't seem to think as highly of gay people as straight people - never has, and i've known him for over ten years.

    my son confronted him about this, actually. ric thought about it a lot.

    i think within any group, there will be some people who were indoctrinated enough by society to feel that their entire group is "less than" because society dictates it is so.

    it's really too bad :-(


  3. #3
    Direct Holly
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    Ignorance can happen in any community... I see it sometimes between lesbians and gay men... it makes me very sad


  4. #4
    Moderator Bec's Avatar
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    A lot has to do with what you were taught as a child, and peer pressure. I do believe there's a mix of the homophobia part of our upbringing that triggers a lot of the gay/lesbian suicides. If taught it's a disgusting life style ... their self image is already in a trashed state if they find themselves attracted to the same sex.

    Now days there is a much more realistic portrayal of the "gay lifestyle" on Tv, etc. ... but as I was growing up, gays were horrible creatures doing strange things in public restrooms. No hint to Love - or sharing a home, raising kids, and so on. I spent many years thinking I was "waiting for the right guy" to come along. Of course, he never did ... but I also didn't understand I was a lesbian ie: "gay".... from what I knew, they didn't crave a life partner, 2 1/2 kids and a white picket fence.

    When I finally "found" the lesbian community in Kent (actually, it found me but that's a dif story) ... it was like someone took the blinders off! I can still remember sitting at various couples homes and just watching them live life! Yell at kids, pay bills, figure out whose turn it was for the car pool ... It finally let me put in the missing piece to the puzzle! Stood up said yea, I'm gay ... and never looked back!
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  5. #5
    Scorpio
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    oh Lord, i'm not even gonna go there but that's for sure a good question


  6. #6
    DigitalJay
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    People put down what they are afraid of, jealous of, or afraid to be, so there is plenty of bashing and "homophobia" among gay men, because like everyone, we are diverse.


  7. #7
    TheLegacy
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    I do agree with DigitalJay on Diversity - my experience has always been that when this has happened they are in denial - prefering to call themselves "bisexual" rather than gay in a worse case scenerio when asked.

    Can it happen?? Sure

    Does it make sense?? No - but then again, how many of us know of a community group that the right hand doesnt want to admit what the left one is doing?


  8. #8
    Scorpio
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    Originally posted by Direct Holly
    Ignorance can happen in any community... I see it sometimes between lesbians and gay men... it makes me very sad
    haha i can totally back that one up. Me and my partner always oftenly goes to a Lesbian Club here in Dallas because we're good friends with the manager and all the staff... Some Sunday afternoon, we were playing pool there... when some woman passed right next to us saying "Sure lesbians here get uglier and uglier" looking at us. She got her ass kicked out of course but frankly, i was like.... fuck we're all gay here... aren't there enough animosity between straights and gays that we have to even fight inside the gay community.
    I guess it opened my eyes that day that gay people aren't that nice and clean. And i've noticed more and more idiots, and started to really dislike some kinda of people... and that's my right to dislike people. And that's not called "ignorance"!


  9. #9
    RainGurl
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    I had a friend in california, a teacher. after being named teacher of the year, she was fired for being gay. the worst part is that the lynch mob was led by a school board member who was also lesbian, but closeted.
    it got pretty nasty.

    like holly, i've seen the gay men/lesbian discrimination quite often, especially in phoenix.

    i've also seen gay/lesbian people who refuse to have straight friends.

    discrimination is everywhere.


  10. #10
    Ounique
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    Originally posted by RainGurl
    I had a friend in california, a teacher. after being named teacher of the year, she was fired for being gay. the worst part is that the lynch mob was led by a school board member who was also lesbian, but closeted.
    it got pretty nasty.
    Makes you wonder if the school board member was just trying to deflect attention away from herself by doing this. Ugh!

    I have a gay cousin who was in a really bad relationship with a guy who cheated on him and did not treat him very well. He actually said to me that he didn't deserve to be happy because he was gay and that this relationship was the best he could hope for because gay men did not want to be in relationships. He would settle for whatever he could get to have something that resembled a hetero relationship. He just breaks my heart, but would never listen to anything I had to say on the matter. You try to help, but you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped, ya know. But it really upsets me.


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