Is this too much for a model repsonse letter?

[Rimmates.com]

QUOTE=Matt 26z

(This paragraph was pointless. Besides, it reads like industry discussion board text.)
Really? I thought it was important. I don't do general, and they need to know that. If someone wants to stand naked in front of a camera and get paid, forget it. I expect models to say "I don't do that..." and I tell them "I don't not do that so sorry..."

(Is this in your autobiography too? They don't care.)
I started this because it's something I want to do, not something I need to. Yes, they need to know this.

(I see your lips moving but I don't hear you talking. At least say you offer competitive wages.)
I offer competitive wages.

(May want to explain this a little more clearly.)
I talk about contract modeling in person. Only so many details I can give when this is my first shoot.


(I wouldn't openly talk about this deposit policy unless it comes up. There is no way to make "pay me to work for me" sound good.)
You forgot the read the next line: this fee is refunded immediately during the shoot. They don't pay anything, I'm just covering my ass.


(Could cause confusion. Sounds like you want to meet first, talk about money second.)
I do. I'm not telling anyone what I pay them until I see some good pictures and I hear from them. I prefer meeting in person over disclosing unsure facts.

(More industry stuff. Strike all of it.)
Only repeating that I don't do general. I'm not letting models boss me around. This is not their shoot. This is my shoot. I can find other models if people don't want to do certain things. If they have stipulations, we need to work them out, but if they flat out refuse to do my niche style, they're out.

I just needed to explain myself more.

Thanks

[eliteboy]

It was a great explanation, but for your purpose definately needs to be shortened!!

When dealing with models I've learned that being direct the best policy. In fact, the explanation of you next to last paragraph, explaining that it's your shoot! I would use your explanation in the letter -- it made you sound as if you mean business! I hate it when people waste my time by sugar coating everything! You are right about, "if they won't do it someone else will"....so instead of wasting time finding out that a model thinks they're in control -- leave no room for confusion, then they will know its your shoot!! That's more time you could spend taking pictures!

[gaybucks_chip]

If you happen to get any twinky guys and you don't want to deal with 'em, you can just say that you don't have any present opportunities for them but you know another agency that does and then give 'em my email (chip at mrconline dot net) and we'll either see if we can work with 'em or pass them on to someone else who might be able to. We have a bazillion people in our database (about 400 who were interested in adult work, last I looked) and we currently refer off to other people who need models. As soon as we get around to it, we're going to make the database accessible to industry people we know who are looking for models... it's one of those deals where everyone will benefit.