planned parenthood doesn't work for me since 80% of the time, the chick ha already been on the pill or implant for years and many guys carry condoms all the time. besides, even in long marriages most guys leave birth control up to the woman.

i'd say the feelings and breasts one would either work on a first date or after 6 months but honestly there is no "normal" thing straight people do on a third date, and without that you have no cliche that makes the joke work.

the potentially funny one is the first date because a lot of the time the woman would like for the two of them to get to know each other and the guy wants to get laid.