One thing to keep aware of is that so many "masculine" gay men, and straight men for that matter, seem to think that being an effeminate man is a bad thing. Look at the reaction a lot of you had to the question of being masculine or effeminate. Think about your own personal feelings and the comments made. I've been guilty myself of saying something about a guy who looks manly and then he opens his mouth and a purse falls out. But does that make him less of a man? Is it wrong for a masculine man to do drag? Is it wrong for a femme guy to dress up as butch? We don't like to be labeled by others yet we do a damn good job of it ourselves. And it's not because we are damaged or lacking something in our lives, it's just that we've grown up in a culture that loves shoving people into neat little boxes. The younger people of today are experimenting with gender roles as early as junior high. Us older folk could take a lesson about that and be more accepting.

And Ken, you know I love ya, darlin' but I recall a conversation where you pinched a tiny little bit of your stomach lamenting about how fat you were and how you needed to lose weight. I hope your above post was about conquering your issues and that you can see you have nothing to worry about. Although, I must admit, being a 200 plus full figured guy and having someone with a small frame going on about being overweight did nothing to help my self-esteem. So in talking about the way gay people treat each other, keep in mind that if you think 10 extra pounds is sooooo fat then you obviously think I'm a gargantuan pig. But I won't bow down to that kind of pressure. I have in the past and I decided no more. I go to the gym because I want to feel better and have more energy. I'll always have a stomach, I may lose some weight and gain some muscle but I will always be "fat" by Weho standards. But you know, I have a wonderful boyfriend who rubs my big belly and tells me how sexy I am. And if not him then there are others who look to the person you are rather than the vessel that carries you, so it's about loving yourself before you can love someone else.