Mansized, how would you feel if you were fucking someone and the condom broke?
how about if that person had been negative and a couple months after that condom broke, tested positive?
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Originally Posted by Mansized
Mansized, how would you feel if you were fucking someone and the condom broke?
how about if that person had been negative and a couple months after that condom broke, tested positive?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mansized
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mansized
My statement is true for me. Not necessarily true for anyone else. It's also difficult to convey an opinion in a few small sentences.
As far as anyone who has HIV. They should have sex with anyone that is willing to have sex with them. I just don't happen to be one of those persons. But I do think that the non infected person should be warned about the HIV status prior to having sex with the infected person. I think that its an obligation on the part of the HIV infected person to say his status.
It's a really difficult question to answer. There are too many hypothetical questions that go along with the main question.
I voted yes but it's not preferred... the sex I like is riskier. :) I admit I am a pig.
I'm curious how many of the "yes" voters are positive themselves. That's probably skewing the yes votes higher... meaning the "No" votes would have an even bigger lead among the negative folks.
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Originally Posted by basschick
So you are suggesting that hiv poz people stay celibate or only with hiv poz partners?
What a ridiculous question to ask a person. Of course I would not feel good about a condom breaking, so don't try to portray me as person devoid of feelings and intelligence just because I am hiv poz.
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Originally Posted by fineline
I understand your situation and I agree with your words of advice of having "smart sex".
The difficulty comes when you have someone like Basschick who tries to do a guilt trip with the old "what if the condom broke"..which is in essence telling someone who is hiv+ to NOT ever have sex with an hiv- person.
i didn't suggest anything at all in my last post or even make a statement - i asked questions only. i'm also not trying to portray you as anything - obviously you have feelings - in fact, i am asking about your feelings..
if someone HIV+ is willing to fuck someone HIV-, isn't what i asked the risks with their own emotions that they are willing to take? to me it is unimaginable that if i had HIV i could have sex with someone negative because i know i could not live with my own sadness, guilt and self-blame if i passed it to them. but part of that is my own personal issues and at this moment i only know how i feel.
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Originally Posted by Mansized
Sorry, but I am coming into this discussion a little late, so I haven't read all the replies.
Here is my take -
I am SURE that I have had sex with guys that are HIV+ and either lied or we never talked about it.
Would I have "random" sex with a guy that is HIV+. Maybe. It really depends on the guy. But, in all honesty, if I have anal sex with a guy really depends on the chemistry between us. If it's not there it wont happen.
Would I "date" a guy with HIV? Sure. No question at all. Good guys are that are a match for me are not easy to come by. I have a certain taste in personality. If both of us are mature enough to understand the limits, then I will do it. No questions asked.
Well said.Quote:
Originally Posted by WegCash Robert
Something happened to me early last year. Some kind of click. I'd spent six years being single and .... to put it mildly..... enjoyed it tremendously. Before that I had been in a nine year relationship --- from my ages 21 to 30, so it was like my first time sowing wild oats.
Last year - something changed with me, perhaps it is just getting older. It's like I felt like I was looking for something that I couldn't get anymore. Maybe I've possibly seen it all and done it all. I don't know. But tramping around would become like a narcotic, I'd want to do more of it to get to that same place, but it required more.
At least then I enjoyed being on the wild side, and knew it. So I got that click, and felt instead like settling down.
So last year I met this young guy who really just turned out being a hot mess.
This relationship that only made me feel more confused, and ultimately unsure of what I want. Personally, I am not used to handling being unsure. That coupled with an inescapable sense of looking around and everyone seems so predatory. Eight years ago I had a nice group of friends to spend time with. Most of them have moved away, and so now it's very different.
This time, the same people who would console me and urge me to get out of my bad relationship ultimately since then have hit on me whilst drunk at the bar and want to sleep with me. Ugh. Predatory.
So much of the attitude on this thread is so damn.... Victorian. I guess since we're all pretty Anglo-Saxon on here, it makes sense. People sleep with other people for an infinite number of reasons, not just to find a husband. And risk is a part of living. People engage in risky behavior of varying degrees, because otherwise why go through life if you are restricted to just becoming an Earth muffin?
It's called pursuing your own happiness, and no one ever said that it would be simple or easy.
Steve
I know this isn't on the same level.... But what if a man and a woman are having sex and the condom broke? Not necessarily life threatening.. but possibly life changing. I had that happen to me when i just started dating. I was a wreck until we found out she wasn't pregnant. Having sex unprotected is literally taking your life in your hands rather your straight or gay. Having protected sex decreases the odds drastically. I feel in today's world its best to limit your chances of losing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mansized
At this time I say I wouldn't have sex with an HIV + person. I can say that as I have been in a 12 year committed relationship with the same man. But hypothetically if i was on the dating scene and met someone that matched my needs and we got to know each other and he was open and honest about his health.... Who knows.. Maybe I would change my mind. But as far as a one night stand goes... or random hook up.... I would never do it! That is if they told me and didn't hide the fact. But then again I would be playing safe.
It's also funny to me that we are worried only about HIV. What about HPV? Herpes? or any other communicable STD? People can die from those too. But, its never really discussed.
Read this:
Approximately 20 million people are currently infected with HPV. At least 50 percent of sexually active men and women acquire genital HPV infection at some point in their lives. By age 50, at least 80 percent of women will have acquired genital HPV infection. About 6.2 million Americans get a new genital HPV infection each year.
Most people who have a genital HPV infection do not know they are infected. The virus lives in the skin or mucous membranes and usually causes no symptoms. Some people get visible genital warts, or have pre-cancerous changes in the cervix, vulva, anus, or penis.
You can read more here: http://www.cdc.gov/STD/HPV/STDFact-HPV.htm#common
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Originally Posted by basschick
The reason I found your question ridiculous is that you asked me how I would FEEL if the condom broke and the person got infected. Did you expect me to say "I couldn't care one way or another"? Of course it would bother me, anyone with an ounce of morality would be upset by that situation. So that's a true strawman argument that you are using when you KNOW the answer before you ask the question.
I hate to see anyone with HIV feel this way, but you're not alone. Many in the Gay "community" are "lepers"Quote:
Originally Posted by Mansized
Ugly guys, real fat guys, bald fat guys, guys with kids, old guys, the long list goes on.
The fact that you have integrity and are honest with people is a strength that HIV cannot take away from you.
no, i didn't expect you to say that. you seem to believe i am trying to demonize you but i really was curious. as i got older - and i'm older than almost everyone on this board - i found myself taking less and less chances with myself and those i interact with because i feel more responsible and much, much sadder when something happens.
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Originally Posted by Mansized
I've had the same experience. Being a single Dad I find myself being much more discerning about things because if something happened to me my son would be left an orphan. I'm all he has. If I wasn't a parent I'd be much more wild then I am :broccoli:Quote:
Originally Posted by basschick
btw, in no post here have i said what anyone should do - i posted about myself ONLY. at no time did i suggest who HIV+ men should have sex with, who HIV- men should have sex with or who anyone else should - or shouldn't - have sex with.
i don't believe that my own opinions about my own choices should be turned into a discussion of what other people should do as i do not believe i am the arbiter of what other people should do in their lives. and that applies to ANY life choices, not just sexual ones.
i also don't believe that anyone should decide what i mean when i say something. i generally mean exactly what i say - if i mean something, i say it. so if i say one thing, it doesn't mean something else. if i ask a question, it doesn't indicate a value judgement. if i say what i would do, it doesn't mean that i feel someone else should do the same thing.
and my statements in this post can be applied to anything i say in any post on any board on any subject - and also applies to me in person.
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Originally Posted by desslock
EARTH MUFFIN?! Haha!
Those 2 words put a ray of sunshine inside this dreary, depressing thread.