Would you have sex with a guy who told you he was HIV Positive?

[basschick]

i didn't suggest anything at all in my last post or even make a statement - i asked questions only. i'm also not trying to portray you as anything - obviously you have feelings - in fact, i am asking about your feelings..

if someone HIV+ is willing to fuck someone HIV-, isn't what i asked the risks with their own emotions that they are willing to take? to me it is unimaginable that if i had HIV i could have sex with someone negative because i know i could not live with my own sadness, guilt and self-blame if i passed it to them. but part of that is my own personal issues and at this moment i only know how i feel.

So you are suggesting that hiv poz people stay celibate or only with hiv poz partners?

What a ridiculous question to ask a person. Of course I would not feel good about a condom breaking, so don't try to portray me as person devoid of feelings and intelligence just because I am hiv poz.

[Mansized]

i didn't suggest anything at all in my last post or even make a statement - i asked questions only. i'm also not trying to portray you as anything - obviously you have feelings - in fact, i am asking about your feelings..

if someone HIV+ is willing to fuck someone HIV-, isn't what i asked the risks with their own emotions that they are willing to take? to me it is unimaginable that if i had HIV i could have sex with someone negative because i know i could not live with my own sadness, guilt and self-blame if i passed it to them. but part of that is my own personal issues and at this moment i only know how i feel.

The reason I found your question ridiculous is that you asked me how I would FEEL if the condom broke and the person got infected. Did you expect me to say "I couldn't care one way or another"? Of course it would bother me, anyone with an ounce of morality would be upset by that situation. So that's a true strawman argument that you are using when you KNOW the answer before you ask the question.

[basschick]

no, i didn't expect you to say that. you seem to believe i am trying to demonize you but i really was curious. as i got older - and i'm older than almost everyone on this board - i found myself taking less and less chances with myself and those i interact with because i feel more responsible and much, much sadder when something happens.

The reason I found your question ridiculous is that you asked me how I would FEEL if the condom broke and the person got infected. Did you expect me to say "I couldn't care one way or another"? Of course it would bother me, anyone with an ounce of morality would be upset by that situation. So that's a true strawman argument that you are using when you KNOW the answer before you ask the question.

[Squirt]

as i got older - and i'm older than almost everyone on this board - i found myself taking less and less chances with myself and those i interact with because i feel more responsible and much, much sadder when something happens.

I've had the same experience. Being a single Dad I find myself being much more discerning about things because if something happened to me my son would be left an orphan. I'm all he has. If I wasn't a parent I'd be much more wild then I am :broccoli:

[basschick]

btw, in no post here have i said what anyone should do - i posted about myself ONLY. at no time did i suggest who HIV+ men should have sex with, who HIV- men should have sex with or who anyone else should - or shouldn't - have sex with.

i don't believe that my own opinions about my own choices should be turned into a discussion of what other people should do as i do not believe i am the arbiter of what other people should do in their lives. and that applies to ANY life choices, not just sexual ones.

i also don't believe that anyone should decide what i mean when i say something. i generally mean exactly what i say - if i mean something, i say it. so if i say one thing, it doesn't mean something else. if i ask a question, it doesn't indicate a value judgement. if i say what i would do, it doesn't mean that i feel someone else should do the same thing.

and my statements in this post can be applied to anything i say in any post on any board on any subject - and also applies to me in person.

[Mansized]

i don't believe that my own opinions about my own choices should be turned into a discussion of what other people should do as i do not believe i am the arbiter of what other people should do in their lives. and that applies to ANY life choices, not just sexual ones.

But Basschick, that is exactly what you were doing when you were asking me about "how I would feel if I was fucking someone and the condom broke and they got infected"

To argue that you WEREN'T slanting hiv poz people away from hiv neg partners is an argument I don't buy.

[JamesXR]

Woah, it looks like some things have taken a turn to the personal. Honestly I don't see myself pursuing someone who's HIV+. It's one of those never say never situations where some attraction might develop unintentionally, but of all the people in the world I'd rather screen for people who aren't carrying any STDs. I don't really think that HIV stands out that much amongst all the others I'd rather not have. I never smoked a cigarette, because I didn't want to risk the slightest chance of addiction. It follows that I'd avoid sex with HIV+ people. Now if a friendship grew into something more serious, I might end up doing it.
I do feel that strongly that carrying condoms is not enough. HIV+ people should carry condoms and a bottle of good lube. I think that lubrication lowers the chance of condom breakages. Furthermore I decree that all HIV- people who have sex with people whose status is unknown should carry condoms and good lube. While I'm decreeing, anyone who's not in a long term relationship and might possibly have sex somehow some way should carry condoms and good lube.

While I can't be sure that I'd never have sex with someone who's HIV+, I can be pretty sure that I wouldn't have sex with someone was overly sensitive and HIV+. Especially if that person was overly sensitive and mean to people who really didn't intend to offend. Then again, overly sensitive people would be unlikely to be interested in having sex with me.

[basschick]

how could i be slanting anyone to do anything if my statements pertain only to myself?

i'm a vegetarian, but people on this very board can tell you that when we go to lunches, i don't tell them what to eat or even suggest anything. heck, i've set up lunches at the sizzler and had salad with a bunch of men eating steak. my son and daughter and mother eat meat and not once have i tried to change their personal eating choices.

that being said, when i'm asked about my choices, i certainly will tell people what they are.

my personal choices are just that.

you are - and always were - completely free not to answer my questions or anyone else's in this thread.

But Basschick, that is exactly what you were doing when you were asking me about "how I would feel if I was fucking someone and the condom broke and they got infected"

To argue that you WEREN'T slanting hiv poz people away from hiv neg partners is an argument I don't buy.

[Mansized]

no, i didn't expect you to say that. you seem to believe i am trying to demonize you but i really was curious.

Curious about WHAT? How I would feel? I don't think you really care that much about how I FEEL. You were trying to make a point that it's BAD to infect people..which it is. I just did NOT appreciate you picking me out and trying to put ME on the stop like that. If you can't understand that, then you seriously need to re-appraise how you approach people on sensitive issues.